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Mountain At Sunset

ABOUT Pamela Chapman

I'm here to help you wade through the muck, figure out what's really going on underneath the surface, and develop a plan to start feeling better.

Dr. Chapman.avif

What Does It Mean to Embrace the Suck?

When the shit is hitting the fan and the last thing you want to do is talk about your feelings, but you know you need to anyway—that's embracing the suck.


The phrase has been around for decades, possibly originating in the military, but the concept is universal. At some point, life hands all of us something we'd rather avoid. Anxiety. Grief. Trauma. Relationship problems. Stress. The uncomfortable truth is that change usually doesn't feel good at first.

Why? Because it's scary.
 

It's a lot easier to focus on everything happening around us than to stop and look at what's happening inside. When we do, we often come face to face with the parts of ourselves we'd rather not see—the angry, hurt, scared, overwhelmed, or messy parts. That takes courage.

Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön puts it this way:
 

"Rather than letting our negativity get the better of us, we could acknowledge that right now we feel like a piece of shit and not be squeamish about taking a good look. That's the compassionate thing to do. That's the brave thing to do."
 

I love that quote because it reminds us that being human is messy. We all struggle. We all get overwhelmed. We all have moments where we're not our best selves. There's no shame in that.

One of the questions I hear most often is, "Why should I face the very things I've worked so hard to avoid?"
 

At first? You might feel more of the same. Irritable. Reactive. Overwhelmed. But over time, something changes. When we stop running, distracting, numbing, and avoiding, we create space for something different.
 

Real change rarely happens in one giant breakthrough. It happens in small moments: taking a walk before saying something you'll regret, asking for help when you're overwhelmed, saying no when your plate is already full, or simply showing up for yourself when you'd rather check out.

That's where therapy comes in.
 

Together, we'll figure out what's getting in your way, why certain patterns keep showing up, and what you can do differently. No magic wand. No unicorns and rainbows. Just honest conversations, practical tools, and a willingness to do the work.
 

The bottom line? People can do hard things. You can do hard things too.

Whether you want to feel less anxious, stop yelling at your kids, work through trauma, improve your relationships, or simply become a better version of yourself, it starts with being willing to embrace the suck.
 

I'll help you through the rest.

My Approach

I'm here to help you wade through the muck, figure out what's really going on underneath the surface, and develop a plan to start feeling better.

Most people who come to see me are angry, anxious, overwhelmed, depressed, or stuck. They're trying really hard to be good parents, good partners, good employees, and good people—but they feel like they're failing.

The messages running through their heads sound something like:
 

"I'm an asshole."

"I'm a terrible parent."

"Why can't I get my shit together?"

"How did I end up here?"
 

Here's the thing: you're probably not a bad person.
 

You're likely caught in a loop of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that isn't working anymore.
 

Maybe you're snapping at your kids. Maybe you're avoiding difficult conversations. Maybe you're lying awake at night replaying everything you said wrong that day. Whatever it looks like, we'll start by figuring out what's happening and why.
 

Together, we'll look at the stories you're telling yourself, the emotions underneath them, and the habits keeping you stuck. Then we'll work on creating a little space between what you feel and how you react.
 

That space changes everything.

What Therapy Looks Like

A lot of people come in ready for change but have no idea how therapy actually works.
 

Fair enough.
 

Therapy isn't me sitting across from you asking, "How does that make you feel?" for 50 minutes.
 

It's a conversation.
 

We'll talk about the things that are making life harder than it needs to be. We might discuss:
 

  • Anxiety, anger, depression, and overwhelm

  • The negative messages running on repeat in your head

  • The connection between your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors

  • Learning to tolerate discomfort instead of avoiding it

  • Healthier ways to cope with stress

  • Boundaries, relationships, and communication

  • Grief, trauma, and painful experiences from the past
     

Most importantly, we'll figure out what works for you.

My Approach

I use a trauma-informed approach based on Dr. Judith Herman's Three Stages of Trauma Recovery.
 

In plain English, that means we don't jump straight into the deep end.
 

First, we focus on understanding what's happening right now and building tools to help you feel more grounded and in control. Once you have those tools, we can explore deeper issues if that's something you want or need to do. Eventually, the focus shifts from surviving to creating the life you actually want to live.
 

Therapy isn't about becoming a different person.
 

It's about becoming less trapped by old patterns and more intentional about how you want to show up in your life.

A Little About Me

I'm a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) with over 14 years of experience. My degree is in Social Work from Metropolitan State University of Denver, and I have specialized training in mindfulness, PTSD, anxiety, depression, grief, loss, and end-of-life issues.
 

I'd love to hear your story and help you move toward the person you want to be.
 

Reach out today for a free 30-minute consultation.

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